It Might Be Time To Quit
23 years ago I had my first child. My daughter was born in 1992. When I was pregnant I experienced my first physical abuse. (Wow, I never thought that would happen to me!). I broke up, then got scared, then we got married.
Of course, the abuse didn’t end here. I had a second child and things didn’t go any better. I was praying, I tried to be a ‘better wife’, and I prayed a bit more. I was determined not to become a ‘single mother’.
Though after 6 years my prayers were answered and he left. Looking back I am convinced that I should have quit immediately, straight away and sharply. (There is a proverb in Germany which says: ‘’Better a terrible end than terror without an end!”). But I was afraid. My family was on the other side of the world – and seriously, I didn’t have a clue about motherhood.
We find ourselves in ‘not-so-perfect’ circumstances and want to stick it out. We know we can do it. This is just ‘’our lot in life’’. This is as good as it gets! Life wasn’t meant to be easy!
It isn’t just physical abuse. There are many other forms of abuse which are just as damaging. And some are so very subtle that a highly specialized ‘’abuse detector’’ would not find it. Any verbal forms of put downs, belittling, sarcastic remarks (sometimes clothed in humor), passive aggressive behavior, intimidation, gas-lighting, etc. You get the picture.
Are you sometimes wondering why you are so unhappy? Are you often feeling bad, insecure or double-guessing yourself? Are you sometimes feeling like you are on an automatic pilot going no-where fast? Treading on egg-shells? Feeling unlovable, unworthy, invalidated so many times? Feeling like a no-body and crazy?
What are you going to do about it? More people pleasing, more saying ‘’yes’’ when you mean ‘’no’’? Trying harder to be loveable? More tolerating of unacceptable behavior? Striving even more to become the next Superwoman?
“.. But my life is not so bad! …. Other people have it even worse! … But, my kids are too small! … But, I am too old! … But, I have lived like this for so long! … Maybe it is all my fault? … And what about my financial security?”
Time to quit the excuses, time to quit being a victim and time to quit putting other people on a pedestal! Time to quit being overly tolerant and making excuses for others’ bad behaviour! Time to quit putting yourself last! Time to leave this nice cozy (and toxic) comfort zone.
It has to start with yourself – because that is the only one you have control over (so forget trying to change others).
I know out of experience that our self-worth, self-respect, and self-value (in short: our SELF-LOVE) is the essence of our well-being and our happiness!
- What can you do today, and on a regular basis, to love yourself more, to become your best friend, to be gentle with your soul?
- What actions can you implement into your life (even in little baby-steps) that magnifies your innate value and worth?
- How can you give yourself the respect YOU deserve?
When you do start loving, respecting and valuing yourself, others will follow and do the same, and you will attract different kind of people and experiences in your life. Somebody once said that the universe gives you as much love as you give yourself!
Ask yourself this vital question:
What price will I pay spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally – if I stay the same?
Life is shorter than you think!
For a little helping hand to start your Journey to Self-Worth, Self-Respect and Self-Value you can download my free e-book ‘Get out of the mud and Shine’.
Lots of love always in all Ways
The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out.” (Alan Cohen)
Jutta Klipsch is a Transformational Coach trained in NLP and mBraining who helps women to conquer low self-confidence, self-doubt and procrastination by awakening their inner Feminine Power to create their dream life with clarity and audacity.
Are you ready for change?
If you feel interested or inspired to reveal who you really are and what you are capable of achieving in this life then now is the time.